spring time :)

I am back to Delhi after 3 long years and this is my first spring here after 3 years and man what a "spring" it is. I had forgotten how it felt when the winters drift away and the first warm days touched you. When you step out of you room and there is a distinct smell of nature in the air. It seems as if the colours are running amuck as new flowers grow out of every nook and cranny in every possible colour. The entire campus is dressed. The evenings are warmer, pleasant and longer with people out taking walks till 9 in the evening. When you look forward to waking up early in the morning to catch the pleasant chirping of birds who are up and about. The first cup of tea in the morning with the soft sunlight streaming onto the balcony. The gasp of pleasure as the first few drops of cool water hit you pleasantly when you step under the shower.

Gone are those days when you were loaded with sweaters, sunlight was scarce, everything was parched and dry, life was dull and everything was a superhuman effort; from waking up in the morning to a simple chore like having a bath.

I love all the activity and the bustle that is all around me as it is time for the birds to chirp once again, flowers to bloom, sun to shine and for me to have fun amongst all this:)

Udaasi ka sabab poochenge!!

Okie. It is time to explain :). Couple of my last posts have been very cryptic and depressing. So why? What happened? I have never been so shocked and this is what it has been.........
This is all about a friend. She i the same school friend i wrote about sometime back. She had avery bad year but she got married like a year back and I recently discovered that she was going through domestic violence and mental trauma and I was shaken. I had a chat and requested her to give her marriage a chance (though I was very very upset) and her flight did break in certain ways. She is still with her man but not with her in laws any longer.
I wonder why someone has to be treated like cattle and beaten and why does any woman take it. I wish things were different and everyone had there on share of sky and sunlight.
I wonder why does God test some people so much. There is so much of pain in her life that my own heart cries for her. The wonder is that she still stands strong amongst all of this. I wish her all the luck in life and pray to God that he chooses to treat her better as life moves on.
But when I heard everything i did feel as if I had been slapped and was numb very very numb.
This did remind me of the book A thousand splendid suns, but there is no way to justify what is happening around me as i stand and watch it helplessly.

What was and what will be....

2007 is past. I love the feeling. But time to do the additions and subtractions. So some good things that happened to me or were done by me in 2007. Importantly what arethose few things I look forward to in 2008.

2007:
1. Shifted to Delhi was able to visit my parents more often
2. Set- up my first home
3. Bought my first car
4. Got my first promotion
5. Painted a little
6. Read a little
7. Was not regular to the gym
8. The most good looking sweetie pie nephew in the world was born-Nipun
9. Met 3 guys for arranged marriage and realized "the best is most probably already taken";)
10. Went to Vaishno devi- a long time wish
11. Then there were some things which did not go right borh in personal and professional life but that is fine.

2008:
1. Gym regularly- not happy with personal fitness currently
2. Plan finances some more dreams to be fullfilled
3. Read a little more - maybe some serious stuff
4. Start following stock markets
5. Give higher priority to getting married
6. Travel to new places
7. Get out of my comfort zone professionally
8. Do atleast one serious painting

I guess this should make me happy in December 2008

P.S. Had a great party at my home last night. The theme was a mujra night. Had good fun. I look forward to a wonderful year ahead. A chance to start afresh.

Melancholy

The other day I was just a little melancholy and a thought came to my mind..." is this all there is to life". Okie no I am not depressed or unhappy, in fact I am having a roller coaster right now what with buying my first car, setting up my first house, the process of buying furniture, electronics etc. In fact getting enough time for a thought which is not about an immediate action is also difficult.
But still even if these activities seem to occupy your entire time but your mind still partially remains passive in the process and you are left wondering about "purpose" for everything you do.

Writing a blog...

A very apt question was asked the other day.. "Why do you write a blog?"
1. Hardly anyone will read it
2. Extremely public forum to share your personal views
3. Why is it better than writing in the age old way of a diary

I do feel that it helps me de-clutter my mind and keeps me in touch with what I am thinking. However one reason for preference of a blog to a diary is the sense of complacence which a persona journal like a diary builds in leading to sloppiness and unedited thoughts. A blog like this challenges you to write about the most personal thoughts in a way that they are tasteful and edited.
But one thing which it definitely makes me dream is that one day when I have a story to tell I will not be so rusty with a pen that I do not have courage to write it.
However, the only reason why I started writing a blog was this desire to move away from searching the meaning of my existence in the corporate role around which my life used to centre. I do believe this is a form of art and I enjoy it.:)

birthday blues

So it is over....am 27 years old or young whatever you may decide......another birthday came and went ppyby....pushing me closer to 30. Funnily enough I am happy....I feel much more in control of my life. Last year I was bewildered as to where a quarter century of my life had gone and depressed that i was moving onto the wrong side of twentys.
Obviously yesterday the two most asked questions were:
What is your age ?
What is your birthday resolution?
Age was obvious but te second one set me thinking. I wondered wha my birthday resolution was and moreover why particularly this year I hadnt even thought if my approachig birthday at all. However since these questions were asked by my friends I threw it back at the and asked them to suggest me a birthday resolution. The suggestions were interesting to outrageous however each one of them centered around "relationships". So here are some which have to stuck ot my mind
1. Get laid.....
2. Find 'your' man
3. Find 'a' man
4. Let me be 'the' man (you wish buddy)
5. Go out more often dear...(read between a single line)
6. I dont want to see you 'single' on your next birthday
7. Why are you so 'bored' in life why dont you do something about it like be more involved in larger groups.
However the worst in the face was from a female friend, "what do you think you are doing tomorrow all of us are going to move on and then what will u you do". My answer, "obviously move on myself sweetie, make new friends and continue to have fun without becoming a depressed alcoholic wreck raving mad for you;)."
I wonder even till last year my birtday resolutions were around "weight loss", reading a book, accomplishinga professional goal, taking up a particular hobby (like start writing a blog) but this magical figure of 27 has brought all the focus to my relationship status in life. I did not realize till yesterday that not only the older generation but my own generation is uncomfortable to see a single woman ready to wait for meeting her man as and when it happens....
So for all your sakes, dear God please give them good sense that being in a relationship is not an all important end in itself it is just one of the very good ways of enjoying life in companioship I guess.
Happy birthday to me!!:)

learnings......

As this continues to be a forum for sharing my learnings along life's journey. Here some of those learnings

Corporate bakra:

1. Have opinions but don't be outspoken about them, can create an emotionally immature image about you
2. Always keep work as you focus even when look at professional friends remember work is what connects you
3. It doesn't help to be too emotional about your work, give your 100% to work but if things do not go the way you think they should you still know you did your best.

Personal life:

1. "Speak up" friends and relationships are important but not at the cost of hurting yourself.
2. Don't be scared of confrontation. It is an essential part of any personal or professional relationship.