Melancholy

The other day I was just a little melancholy and a thought came to my mind..." is this all there is to life". Okie no I am not depressed or unhappy, in fact I am having a roller coaster right now what with buying my first car, setting up my first house, the process of buying furniture, electronics etc. In fact getting enough time for a thought which is not about an immediate action is also difficult.
But still even if these activities seem to occupy your entire time but your mind still partially remains passive in the process and you are left wondering about "purpose" for everything you do.

Writing a blog...

A very apt question was asked the other day.. "Why do you write a blog?"
1. Hardly anyone will read it
2. Extremely public forum to share your personal views
3. Why is it better than writing in the age old way of a diary

I do feel that it helps me de-clutter my mind and keeps me in touch with what I am thinking. However one reason for preference of a blog to a diary is the sense of complacence which a persona journal like a diary builds in leading to sloppiness and unedited thoughts. A blog like this challenges you to write about the most personal thoughts in a way that they are tasteful and edited.
But one thing which it definitely makes me dream is that one day when I have a story to tell I will not be so rusty with a pen that I do not have courage to write it.
However, the only reason why I started writing a blog was this desire to move away from searching the meaning of my existence in the corporate role around which my life used to centre. I do believe this is a form of art and I enjoy it.:)

birthday blues

So it is over....am 27 years old or young whatever you may decide......another birthday came and went ppyby....pushing me closer to 30. Funnily enough I am happy....I feel much more in control of my life. Last year I was bewildered as to where a quarter century of my life had gone and depressed that i was moving onto the wrong side of twentys.
Obviously yesterday the two most asked questions were:
What is your age ?
What is your birthday resolution?
Age was obvious but te second one set me thinking. I wondered wha my birthday resolution was and moreover why particularly this year I hadnt even thought if my approachig birthday at all. However since these questions were asked by my friends I threw it back at the and asked them to suggest me a birthday resolution. The suggestions were interesting to outrageous however each one of them centered around "relationships". So here are some which have to stuck ot my mind
1. Get laid.....
2. Find 'your' man
3. Find 'a' man
4. Let me be 'the' man (you wish buddy)
5. Go out more often dear...(read between a single line)
6. I dont want to see you 'single' on your next birthday
7. Why are you so 'bored' in life why dont you do something about it like be more involved in larger groups.
However the worst in the face was from a female friend, "what do you think you are doing tomorrow all of us are going to move on and then what will u you do". My answer, "obviously move on myself sweetie, make new friends and continue to have fun without becoming a depressed alcoholic wreck raving mad for you;)."
I wonder even till last year my birtday resolutions were around "weight loss", reading a book, accomplishinga professional goal, taking up a particular hobby (like start writing a blog) but this magical figure of 27 has brought all the focus to my relationship status in life. I did not realize till yesterday that not only the older generation but my own generation is uncomfortable to see a single woman ready to wait for meeting her man as and when it happens....
So for all your sakes, dear God please give them good sense that being in a relationship is not an all important end in itself it is just one of the very good ways of enjoying life in companioship I guess.
Happy birthday to me!!:)

learnings......

As this continues to be a forum for sharing my learnings along life's journey. Here some of those learnings

Corporate bakra:

1. Have opinions but don't be outspoken about them, can create an emotionally immature image about you
2. Always keep work as you focus even when look at professional friends remember work is what connects you
3. It doesn't help to be too emotional about your work, give your 100% to work but if things do not go the way you think they should you still know you did your best.

Personal life:

1. "Speak up" friends and relationships are important but not at the cost of hurting yourself.
2. Don't be scared of confrontation. It is an essential part of any personal or professional relationship.

Love it was.....

Oh! was it her, Ah! so it was,
The moonlight shone,
in the clear sky, those twinkling stars,
built an anticipation I knew not before;

I could faintly see those deep blue eyes,
The black curls that pulled at my very soul,
Those lovely lips, with the faintest smile,
That lovely face, ah! my angel I knew;

As she walked along the narrow path,
I wondered if the heavens conspired for me,
I wondered if i could touch her,
Maybe a gentle kiss, to tell her what I felt;

I knew not what destiny held,
But I sure did know it was with me
Ah! but then I looked around and
Where was she?

Panic struck I ran through the field,
Hoping to catch a fleeting glimpse,
My angel, my manna,
this couldn't happen to me

And then I knew, as I sat in the field,
That she would live forever in my soul,
her smile would shine within me forever,
but NO! she wasnt meant for me.

Unknown

The pain is there, but I know not why
The blank is there, but I know not what fills in there
The desire is there, but i know not for what
The tears are there, but again I know not for who

This nagging hurt, which makes me restless
The endless days and nights, filled with conjectures
The future which goes nowhere
Or the past which has no meaning today
The present which seems meaningless and futile

The hopes and dreams, which are absent today
The numbnees which scares me........

Finally a new dream is coming over me
The dream to sleep a dreamless sleep,
where there is no tomorrow to wake up
and no yesterday to redeem......

Rainy days

This is not the most appropriate time to write a post.........I am sitting at this beautiful place in my office where there is a window and i can see the road right outside my office....I have been a part of this place for a long time and took a transfer to Delhi and now have been back here for almost three months. Today is my second last day and i go back to delhi tomorrow. Mumbai rain have arrived and today it is one of those typical rainy days in this city where the rain has been falling intermittently through the day.
This is one weather which always draws a lot of conflicting emotions out of me. At one end where I love rains and i find this weather extremely romantic and can usually never resisit going out in rain to sea side to sit at a coffee shop and watch the rain fall I also find it daunting to stay in this city with this rain because of the unending traffic jams it brings with it and the dirt all over the roads.
I could not wait to go back to Delhi till a couple of days back but then this rains seems to hold me back. I love it and will miss it despite all its ills.........I will miss this seat by the window where I have sat and watched this pair of 10 year old kids play in their school dress as they waited for their mother to pick them up after school all soaked. My room in the hostel and the terrace where I have stood in the rain on many occasions. Rain and Mumbai has a special association in my mind...I still fail to understand how it can rain so much in a place without stopping.
Some how as we lose the wonder in life as we grow this is place where the wonder for rain still remains in my heart and i always look forward to it. Early in the morning today as i saw it falling outsie my window i looked forward to going to office and I hopedthat while returning it will rain again and I will be able to catch a few drops on myself.
I love you rain ................come with me to Delhi where I can watch you from my window there

Flight....

Ever wondered how a little bird feels on her first flight out of the nest. The mother bird has been taking care of it for the few months since its birth. She has been protecting her from the vultures. Working hard to feed the babies and keeping them warm under her. But sooner rather than later it is time to fly off....leave the warmth of the nest....figure out life for herself. The excitement is dizzying as the world outside beckons.........but then what does she know about what awaits her...........the fight for the grains as the first winter approaces......the fight for the twigs as she builds her first nest.........the constant alertness when some vulture will swoop at its tiny throat or the grain down will turn into a trap....the wait when her soulmate will come along and she would be the proud owner of a beautiful nest......the sense of achievement as she brings up her nest of little birdies...............and that feeling of emptiness when it is time for them to go out and build their lives on their own.

making a difference

Have your felt pain at the human suffering all around you

An old woman almost stick thin and doubled over due to age walks the road with a bag of vegetables. She stops mid way to rest and take a breath......I wonder if she did not have anyone at home...

The auto comes to a halt near a footpath and I see these three kids of some roadside vendor all dirty with dripping noses. One small "potli" and a few utensils comprise all their worldly assets. Deprived of an education and opportunities I wonder what future are they heading towards.....

We were taught that we should count our blessings and be happy but wonder why I cant feel anything like it.........I feel a funny helplessness for not being able to do anything that makes a difference.

Wonders of big cities

I have always been surprised with the differences in people from big cities versus people from small cities. The "term" big and "small" is not only in terms of the size of the city but also in terms of the broad mindsets. I grew up in Lucknow which cannot be called a very small city but a medium city. I did have the best education available in Lucknow but had little exposure to the world outside Lucknow till the age of 22. I was lucky enough that I went to Delhi for further education and from there have traveled to several cities within the country. However, "painful" is how I will describe my first few months in the so called big city. I did learn a lot and now 4 years later having traversed such a long distance from there I cant seem to recognize the person who started from home, but that is a different story entirely and I will keep it for a dfferent post someday. Coming back to the point at hand, some of the key differences which I noticed across the small and big citites were like this:

Horizon: The opportunities which are available in big cities and the general exposure people have there results in higher awareness, bigger dreams and a better understanding of the worldly ways (namely handling people and situations).

Conformance: Generally I found that the pressure to conform to peers and to be "liked" and "accepted" is much higher in bigger cities. Though this is a broad generalisation, usually this is a specific trait I have seen in Delhi as against Mumbai. However at a broad level when comparing, small town people who make it to big cities have a lower need to conform. This could be because usually they reach big cities only due to their non conformance attitude to small city pressures.

Simplicity: Small cities have these small thing about them and small wonders about them which the big city people miss out on. I wonder how many people when growing up in big cities would have slept in the open in summers without the AC. Pulled water from hand pump. Attended those home grown spontaneous "geet sangeet" sessions, lit "angithis" in the winters and roasted potatoes, helped mom knit sweaters or make wool balls out of "lacchis"and yes had rabri other than in shaadis and yes been involved in the papad, chips and sewai making sessions over different festivals. Spontaneous visits from neighbours and endless chai sessions are usually the norm, even as strangers are offered tea and coffee. Everybody talk to almost everybody in the colony and everyone is an "aunty" and "uncle".
The point I am making is that I am a little struck by the coldness and calculatedness of the big city minds. Where relatives are unwelcome, life is busy you call before you visit, you would rather meet at a coffeeshop or restaurant rather than invite people home. You visit somebody and it will take ages before water is offered.

Pace of life: The pace of life however in a small city will put you to sleep. Only after moving out did I realize what the term hectic meant and Mumbai taught me the concept of "long" distance. Big cities with their sheer pace add a zest to one's life. Where the day automatically moves from 16 hours to 18-20 hours. The concept of day and night almost exist on the peripherals where your personal life begins once you come back from office at 10 at night, when you socialise go out and party. The passion to live life even in middle aged and senior citizens amazes me and I just love this aspect about the big cities.

I don't blame the big cities for what they are I love them because of their sheer pace of life, opportunities and the horizons they offer but yes sometimes I do feel like caught in a time warp.........

Old is Gold

"And he died....all alone with nobody around him. He had been ill for quite some time and there was no one to take care of him. He had little money so could not afford to be admitted to a fancy hospital where everything would be taken care for him at his advanced age of 82 years. The body was discovered after 2 days almost rotten difficult to identify"....how many times we hear this and how many times we feel that it might be our fate tomorrow. As the average life span of Indians increases people outlast their savings. The country still struggles witht he lack of social security infrastructure for old people. Today as we claim to have the largest youngest population in the world over the years we would also claim to have the largest population of old people in the world and it is about time the country woke up to the needs of the old people. We need to learn our lessons from the economies like Japan who have a large chunk of population comprising of the old.
With harldy any population working in the organized sector old age planning through PFs and pension schemes is avaialble to very few and to those few also it is usually not sufficient for their requirements. Over the years with high inflation usuallly the planning fell way short of what is required for a comfortable living with age. Even though today there are coopoeratives and organizations like Seva which try to provide old age planning to people in the unorganziaed sector but a handful of efforts would not solve an issue whice is basically systemic.
As a nation when we do not shy away from providing subsidies to various social groups based on castes then how can we shy away as a nation from our responsibility of our senior citizens wo have contributed to the growth of the nation through there lives. Why do we want to pinch pennies by cutting down rates of interest from there savings? Why cant we have separate sections in the government hospiatals to take care of senior citizens? Why cant the government fund the treatment of a certsin age group and above? There is today a greater need for better infrastrucutre in terms of customized saving scemes for old age planning, creating greater infrastructure for old people through making availble medical help, old age homes, activity groups etc.
This is also a great opportunity for the busness houses who can identify opportunities for providing services and products speciffic to the requirement of the old people. Some the products which are innovatively being used in advanced natioins are like reverse mortgage of land where a bank pays a person a certain annuity over his/her remaining lifetime against his property. As long as the person is alive he/she can use the property but once he passes away the propoerty goes to the bank. Similarly setting up various activity clubs for the old people where they can come and spend ther time creatively with people of their own age group. Even things like higher retirement age and opportunities for reemployment post retirement. Loans for setting up small businesses post retirement are thing wich the governemnt needs to look into. But equlally important will be the role of the legislature to protect the rights of this vulnerable group. Whether it is against domestic violence, lack of proper care at home or security to people of certain ages and above staying alone.
We are a nation where respect for elders is an engrained value which we grow up with, but sadly we today ourselves need a lesson to take care of our senior citizens...

The aspirational state of being sad

"Have you ever felt as if there are tears just filling you inside as if they will melt and will drown your entire being.....you have this great desire to lighten yourself by shedding all of them but then they don't come because somewhere you know the futility of all."
Sadness or pathos is an emotion which has a romanticism associated with it, the world has always glamorised the under dog. But I believe that man is basically selfish and seeks only pleasure and even when we choose to be sad it is because it gives us pleasure to feel sad, it gives us relief to cry to tell how we have gone through a lot. Mourning for a dear one, when you can think of all those pleasurable times with him/her gives happiness, or for that matter just sitting and thinking about someone whom we once loved and how we felt at that point of time fills our heart with joy since it is easier to miss the days gone by rather than stand up an face today.
As people we are born with this lust for pleasure through out our life and the "navrasa" as they are called give us pleasure in one way or the other at various points of times in our lives .....just think about this next time when you are sad and you would know what I am talking about....I call it "the aspirational state of being sad"

Pitter patter the rain fell

There was a wonderful hail storm a couple of days back in Gurgaon and we looked at it from the glass shades of our office like small children who have been refused permission to go out and play.
How I wish for those days when rains meant going out on the streets and playing and in case there was hail you obviously ate it, coming home all wet and muddy....the unpleasant part was just the scolding from dad. Those wonderful rainbows which would fill my heart with joy. Where there was time to just simply stand and stare at hem from the garden. The wonderful plants in the garden which seemed all fresh and new after a nice long bath. That smell of the mud as the first drops hit the ground and yes the chai and pakoras when dad was home.
I wonder where all of it went and I came down to "Oh! it is raining nice....." and went along with my work.

heavy weights

All you heavy weights there.....have you ever wondered why God made some people fat and some people thin...I wonder how it would be if each one if us just came right out of a mould in the same size, slim and trim....boring uhhhh...but then why do we always torture ourselves trying to get thin and deprive ourselves of the worldly pleasures (namely food).
But however philosophical I might get about being okay with a little bit of fat on me this desire to fit into those nice sexy clothes somehow seems to take precedence over every other desire to eat, drink and make merry......dont know if this years resolution of shedding 10 kgs will ever get fullfilled with the first qurter already closing almost....but the effort continues

Beautiful days..

I am today going to meet one of my school friends after may be 10 years. It is a funny feeling, while I am so happy that I will be meeting her after such a long time I can distinctly remember how she was in school and I wonder how much she would have changed.
Today I am on a nostalgic trip down memory lane of school. Those beautiful years where fights were on sharing pencils and erasers. A beautiful pencil or a colorful pencil box were the most coveted possessions. Even as we tried to come first in class we didn't think twice or calculate before helping somebody with studies. Lunch breaks were great equalizers as everybody ran to conquer a seat on the swings. Where it was simple to understand who your best friend was when she took you along to distribute sweets across classes on her birthday. Those unforgetful school rides on cycle rickshaws where we took turns sitting on the favorite window seat of the rick and playing games while we waited for the rickshaw man to come. How we begged our rickshaw man to pluck "imlis" from the huge tree outside the school or those times when everyone would yell at me for stealing mulberries from a house near my school. As we grew up up the discussions changed from pencil boxes to boys, I started going to school on my bicycle (another prized possession) the hems of skirts started climbing up and the socks started getting rolled down. Rushing for coaching classes right after school and climbing across gates to make it in time. While our teachers struggled to keep a set of giggly girls under control as they struggled to give us some basic education on growing up (hehe that was what it was called).
The first socials where each one shared clothes and shoes to match to impress a group of 16 year old boys who would have fallen even if we were dressed in rags and to top it all the day after discussions which focused around how many guys one danced with or which guy bought whom an ice cream.
Those sessions in chemistry labs where we discovered the wonders of mixing colourful liquids and begged the lab assistant to help us with the readings and the salt. The lessons with our dear biology teacher who insisted on directing every discussion towards man woman relationships and tose outrageous point of views which came tumbling out of 16 year old minds, those sessions in the physics lab where getting the circuit right made us feel like Newton or Einstein. Those wonderful lessons in english where I seemed to dwell on unrequited love of Pip from Great Expectations.
Those sports day where houses where religion. Where singing competitions and annual sports day were wars and the best house cup was the biggest trophy. When nothing seemed impossible as we let our dreams fly and reach new horizons. As we freely shared our dreams without being guarded or thinking "what if we did not reach them" or when we tried to sell of our favorite pair of jeans to fund a school trip (Ya! somebody actually tried doing it).
Alas!!! they are all gone by but the memories stay and leave a sweet after taste which lingers on..........

Jodhpur

Recently I had the good luck to visit a very beautiful part of Rajasthan and I was completely enamored by the beauty of Jodhpur. Even though I saw very little of the city but the Mehrangarh fort completely had me awestruck with its beauty. Along with the fort I also visited the local market there which was like any other small town market. We also had a beautiful evening over camel rides, bonfire in the middle of desert, local folk music and dance followed by a sumptuous traditional dinner. Even though we missed out the view of seeing the sunset behind the sand dunes we were rewarded by a beauiful rainin the desert something which even the locals are granted only once in a wile. However among all this gaiety something which also struck me was the poverty of the locals, whether it was the guides who showed us around, or the men dressed in colourful traditional clothes posing at the fort, or the waiters who served us, the people who took us for the camel rides or even the local market shops across the city. I was shocked that even despite the rains the dancers performed without adequate cover. While the speakers were covered the dancers and their instruments were not given any shade. The reason as I guessed was that they would not be paid unless they performed in the evening. Eventually we all did come out and stood there and enjoyed the performance but the discomfort of the performers was apparent as they struggled to cover their instruments which would lose thir melody if seeped with damp.
I wonder that even though Rajasthan and especially Jodhpur have registered themselves as a favorite tourist destination, what with a couple of high profile weddings having been recently performed in the city with great glam and shine, then why are we not being able to reap the profits of a flourishing tourism industry. Why is the lot of people who are the original inhabitants of the place not changing. Even though additional jobs are being generated but the quality of jobs is also important. Is the cause for it apathy from the system which fails to organize services in a way. Even if we look at the infrastructure of the city it is extremely poor and connectivity in terms of frequency of flights it is fairly low and the services provided at the airports is also not of the highest quality. Illiteracy is fairly rampant across the various sections of people we discussed above...in our bid to attract tourists to the rich tradition of the city are we also selling them our poverty (I saw tourists clicking pictures of naked kids and women dong manual labor (unknown to them in their own countries)). I believe it is time we sat up and looked at ways not only to attract more tourists but also develop tourism as an industry within the region so that the locals can earn a better style of living.
Somethings which we can quickly correct are:

• I went through the market looking for traditional art and craft and found very shops which were few and far between. Even the quality of stuff they were selling was very limited. Greater experimentation which targets not only international tourists but carries novelty even for the local tourists would ensure greater growth of the city in terms of the general living standard of the people.
• Though this has been hared on for long but educating the local craftsmen and setting up something along the lines of e-chaupals to ensure they can get good rates for the work they do will ensure that they are not cheated (the traditional handicrafts that are sold are not only made in Jodhpur but the surrounding villages also).
• More forums and creating opportunities for the locals to showcase the rich heritage will also lead to greater sales and higher standards of living whether it is through setting up traditional markets on the line of "dilli haat" or whether it is through organizing on going shows across the city for the folk music and dance.
• Reducing the disparity of the services available in the city at one end there are the 5 star hotels and their restaurants on the other end it is the roads-side food. Today there is a requirement for various classes of restaurants and services across the city.
• The goverment can come forward with scemes for ready available capital for small businesses which can help the locals create their own set-ups rather than being dependent on other bigger set-up to buy their products and services
• Above all this the most important thing would be to aggressively marketing the place as tourist destination and ensuring better infrastructure and greater connectivity would help reap rich benefits for the city and locals residing there and prevent various folk arts from dying due to poor commercial value of the same.

Striking the balance

Complacence, satisfaction and ambition....I often wonder what is equation between the 3. Ambition breeds dissatisfaction because it makes you reach out for something which you do not have already...imagine had there been no ambition and everybody was happy with what they had and did not strive for more...we would most probably be still staying in the caves with not even the basic amenities...this desire for doing something better is the key to progress. Necessity alone is not the mother of invention without the fuel of ambition no amount of necessity can translate into anything better. However this leads to the question of complacence and satisfaction......does it breed mediocrity in life. Are we who as kids have been taught about about excellence and ambition destined to spend an entire lifetime dissatisfied with what we have; always moving from one goal to the other. Is it wrong at some point of time in life to step back and say, "enough i ave doe my bit and time to take it slow". There is no end to ambition and sky is the limit if one dares to dreams but as somebody once said "what is a life that is full of care, if you have no time to sit and stare".
Everything has a price while complacence will lead one to maybe a smaller paycheck in life ambition will ask the price of loss of those special moments with oneself and the people who are dear....and we all go along leading a life struggling between striking the balance between the two.

She just went by...........

"Hey there,,, life just went by did you notice, while I kept preparing to get on with life I realized that all that was happening to me was life itself." We spend our time thinking about how we want to spend our lives, preparing to begin it, making sacrifices along the way. May be save those 100 bucks here, lets spend this time of our lives studying life will begin, lets get this project over with, this exam, lets this crisis pass, let the kids get educated may be the visit can happen next time..........and whooooossh life is gone what are we left with....life is not which has any starting point beyond birth it just keeps happening as we keep spending out time planning it and one day we realize it is over and we didnt do which we wished for, my be we got the biggest house on those EMIs and got our kids the biggest education but then what happened to the life which was ours.......The drive for security for safety high up in the Maslow's hierarchy of needs somewhere kills the passion for life itself. I our effort to secure our tomorrow we lose our today which we have in our hands. After all have you thought what would have happened had people like Van Gogh, or for that matter our very own freedom fighter's had thought about saving their own future and not done what they were passionate about....but to live a life fully what it takes is to live in the moment here and now..............may the free spirit prevail.

Love-Part II

Why have I called this love-Part II. Since usually mariage is seen as the scene to of the play of Love in India hence the title. Ask a single girl how she fields the questions on her "marriage" thrown at her every time she meets her relatives...I will document some of the most interesting one's which have ever been asked

• Before I started working the same thing was said a little differently "beta ab tumhe apne maa baap ko bhi ganga naha lene dena chahiye". Who's stopping them dude go right ahead and have a bath togehter whenever you want
• "Toh tum ek se do kab ho rahe ho." I felt like replying yeah I dont mind having babies aunty I am thinking of all the fun in between
• In work space as I was shifting from one city to another and was looking for a flat mate somebody suggested, "Find a permanent flatmate for yourself dearie isnt it time you did".
• Beta ab kis cheez ka intezaar hai ab toh acchi job lag gayi hai settle ho jao. For girls "settle" means shaadi. Aunty I am as settled as I like the rest will only "unsettle" me.
• The funniest came from my younger cousins " didi aap shhadi kar lo na hamein naye kapde banvane hain". So now I should get married coz somebosy wants new dresses.
• And to top them all is yet to come...."beta late marriage ke baad bacche hone main bahut dikkat hoti hai"...Aunty please get your science correct....mid twenties is NOT late.

While I wish I would have given some of these answers outloud....but then you dont get everything you wish for.......

Love-Part I

Love...........I am sure this is going to catch the attention of a lot of people who visit my blog. Most probably a subject where everybody has something to say, contribute and share. So here is my share but this is not a biographical analysis of love but a cynics point of view on it. Sometimes I wonder why there is so much of hoopla on this emotion....I write this post in reaction to my being beaten senseless by "Happy v day" messages from friends, relatives and whomsoever I knew. I tried various tactics on this day...I started with "thanks same to you" thinking that this would be the safest way to get it off my back...but then worst was to come with this reaction being seen as an encouragement I was bombarded with calls from females...."What place should we (they and their finace, boyfriends etc...) get booked for dinner tonight, everything is booked" my rational answers to options where bookings might be available were " Hey! that is not romantic enough.Thats's is a place you and I go out to everyday (my poor bruised ego)". So I tried getting rid of it by suggesting some places which I knew would fit into their ideas as romantic but unavailable but to my disgust instead of calmed nerves it resulted in them raving and ranting about how those places were not available and they had tried everything. But the the words which seemed to do the trick with them was "Hey honey does it really matter where you go, it is the company that matters; how much fun you have with him.....and my dear friends as emotional as they were bought into it and the same places which were unacceptable to them till fifteen minutes became attractive because they would not be crowded and they would have some time for being together....or whatever I said as it came to my mind"

Different

Recently was going through this blog and read a very old line "what are we without our hopes and dreams". But sometimes I wonder what are we even with them. Are we as different from each other as we think..atleast we all do like to think that we are different and unique............I often think that all over there are common themes which link all themes, hopes, dreams, actions almost everything you can think of under the sun. The dream that I see today must have been seen by someone else yesterday and will be seen by somebody tomorrow. The emotion which I am going through today whether joy, sadness or indifference would have been experienced by someone yesterday and will be experienced by someone even tomorrow. Even we go through similar situations and call it "deja vu". The point which I am trying to make is that are the differences which we try to emphasize important enough. We all go through lives trying to prove how different and unique we are.....I have heard this statement so many times..."i cant explain it is different".(also a famous tagline for a ketchup goes something like this)...but the question to ask is "Is it different in a way which is important or is it different because we have chosen to make it look diffferent". Is it not important that instead of noticing the differences between everything we start noticing the similarities among things. After all the greatness of human minds is because we have this capacity to unify things, classify them into similar blocks and learn. Then when and how did we start noticing these differences between castes and regions and forgot to look at the bigger picutre of being humans, similarity of emotions whatever the geography, time, era..........My this post is inspired by a book which read recently "The kite runner"

Questions

Life throws situations and questions at us all the time and we keep fielding them.... sometimes we try and duck them and when we are sure of what we want in life we face them fair and square. But do we really know answers to any of these questions or do we always pretend to be in control of the situation............have you ever wished that some questions were never asked....I have wished it more than once but the more I have tried to avoid answering them the more they stare in my face.........sometimes I just wonder is it only me whom these questions are asked or are there others who also go through this dilemma..One question which always bothers me is..."What is the purpose of my existence" and above all "how important it is to know one's purpose for existence". "Is there actually a purpose for anything to happen or are we just a result of principles of randomness where lots of happy or sad(depends on who is evaluating) coincidences (read brownian movement) resulted in what I am." I dont even know if these questions are important enough or just a result of a lot of chemical reactions in my mind....

A new beginning

My first post in the public domain I feel a little nervous and a little excited. Sometimes I wonder why am I doing this, will I just get bored of it along the way and leave it or will this be something i will get hooked on to for years and......but whatever it is I look forward to it.Amen